Lets all get a tan.

If there was one thing in this world that I cannot stand whatsoever then that thing would be Rollerblades, but guess what? I am a hateful, spiteful, and evil man who hates everything and would not bat an eye at spraying everything with a thick layer of pessimism. One thing that has recently/(actually my entire life) began to make me angrier than a swarm of killer bees strung out on crystal meth is the tanning bed. I hate the tanning bed. Once more. I hate it.

Its not because of the health worries. I don't care. Go for it. Kill yourself. No Really do it. The thing that really gets me about the tanning bed is the fact that it turns normal good looking girls into tan monsters. Thats right. I would rather you be three thousand pounds overweight than have an insane tanning bed tan in the middle of February. Its unnatural, and I suspect that Satan himself is some how involved in the quest to fry perfectly good skin. If you have brown hair and your skin is darker than your hair you have a problem. If you have blond hair and your hair is darker than your skin then you have cancer.

I am aware that this is probably going to be inflammatory but I am going to say it anyways. Are you ready? If you go to the tanning bed and you get skin cancer all that is is natural selection. Thats right I said it, and right now you are probably offended. Good. Be offended. If you are not offended then I congratulate you on your sanity. Be sane. Sanity is good.

I know I said I wouldn't go into the health aspect, but if I see a girl with a real good fake tan then I use that as an indicator for mental Illness. Moreso than seeing a girl smoking a cigarette or jumping off a building.

I hope you learned your lesson.
I really do.
Until next time,
HOLA!!!